Orange Whale.

IT'S ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!

Poor Ian! There's Valentine's Day, the very next day is my 21st, then the week after is our two year anniversary. Bless his heart, haha. He says he has an exciting trip planned, which I know will be awesome. He also jokes that we are hiking up a snowy mountain, which would not be awesome.

My school orientation is on Monday! I'm excited but very nervous. Will it be like Mercer's orientation, filled with awkward ice breakers and dumb games? I hope not.

If you are wondering why this post is titled Orange Whale, continue reading. If you could care less about my weight plus minor fake tanning problems, then I encourage you to just stop.

Last semester, I started eating well and working out regularly. I lost a pretty good bit of weight. Although I don't have a set of scales here, I am almost positive I have gained at least ten pounds. Why?

1. The weather makes you want to lay on the couch under blankets and eat everything in sight. I have put on a thousand layers to run, but making myself do that is really, really hard! 

2. They eat chips (french fries) with EVERYTHING. I know I don't have to eat them, but it's just so hard to resist. Back home, I had french fries in the freezer and if I worked out really hard, I would sneak a few. That only happened once a month. But here, french fries are included in every meal! For example, last night I had a mince pie (hamburger meat + potatoes) and french fries. 

That's red meat + carbs + carbs. Ahh!

As for the orange part... I am absolutely, 100% surely, definitely the palest girl in this whole damn country. I don't know if everyone goes to the tanning bed (so bad), gets spray tanned, or uses fake tanner. I do know that they are all so freaking tan. Normally I embrace my porcelain skin but after a while, you sort of feel like a freak. 

So, I decided to buy fake tanner. I told my mom that I planned to buy some fake tanner and she just laughed. I have tried it many times growing up and (for some reason) me and the bathroom always end up a streaky mess.

 I went to Boots (the Brit equivalent to CVS) and went to the fake tan isle. Holy crap.  My pale self stood there for 30 minutes trying to decide which product to buy. 

Do I buy a gradual tanner? Do I need the wash-off kind or the sweat proof? Should I go for the fair or medium shade? Do I need gloves? How do I put it on my back? Gel, mousse or spray? Wait, it takes ten minutes to dry? Oh this bottle has crystals on it! Should I get one with a shimmer? Can this go on my face? 

I decided to play it safe and go with a very cheap bottle of a gradual tanner. 

Unfortunately, there was nothing gradual about it. I put it on before bed (felt like a slimy mess and smelled like burnt fritos). I woke up looking like I rubbed red dirt all over me. 

Needless to say, this Orange Whale needs some work.
XOXO Kels

There's a fine line

between tan, and 

looking like you

rolled in doritos.